Texas A&M University, Corpus Christi - Helping a Distressed Student

Helping a Distressed Student

The college years can be stressful. Sources of stress may include academics, finances, dating relationships, family problems, and roommate conflicts. For some students, stressors may become overwhelming and begin to take a serious toll on their ability to cope and function on a daily basis. Some signs of student distress include: deteriorating grades; excessive absences or tardiness; disruptive classroom behavior; depressed or anxious mood; hyperactivity or very rapid speech; unexplained crying; extreme irritability or angry outbursts; deterioration in personal hygiene; dramatic weight loss/gain; isolation from friends or family; and talking or writing about suicide or homicide.

What You Can Do:   The decision to initiate a conversation with a distressed student may depend on how serious the student’s troubles seem to be, how approachable the student is, and the nature of your relationship with the student. When initiating a conversation, DO use “I” language. Examples: “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed upset lately and I was wondering if you’d like to talk about what’s bothering you.” OR “I’m concerned about you because you haven’t been eating much.” “ It makes me worried that you’ve been missing so many classes.” “It makes me afraid when I hear Spencer yelling at you.” Avoid accusatory “You” statements (e.g., You must be crazy!). Avoid offering simple solutions (e.g., If you’d just break-up with her, this stuff wouldn’t be a problem).

    Be aware that the student might be defensive and deny having a problem or minimize his/her concerns. Alternatively, (s)he might appreciate your interest and concern. Often when people are struggling with difficult life issues, what they need more than anything is someone simply to listen to them and support them. Generally when an individual is distressed, his or her problems are complex and do not lend themselves to a “quick fix.” Sometimes the best approach can be to encourage the student to explore his or her own ideas about resolving or improving current difficulties. It can be important to reassure the student that things can get better and to help them realize that there are options available to them. Your role is to give the student hope not necessarily to solve their problem. You can suggest resources such as friends, family, clergy, and professionals on campus.

Assisting a distressed student can be emotionally draining and physically taxing for you as well. Be aware of your own boundaries and limitations. You are welcome to consult with a University Counseling Center counselor to obtain additional information, support and guidance related to responding to a distressed student.

Suggesting Counseling:   In many instances, a student’s problem may be beyond your areas of expertise and/or it may not be comfortable or appropriate for you to assist the student with his/her problem. If the student needs more help than you can give by listening and understanding, do suggest that counseling might be beneficial. Let the student know that the Counseling Center services are FREE and CONFIDENTIAL. Reassure the student that seeking help is a sign of strength and courage not weakness or failure. The likelihood of a distressed student seeking counseling may be greater if you encourage the student to call the Counseling Center (825-2703) using your phone or offer to walk the student over to the Counseling Center (Driftwood Building) to make an appointment. While gentle persuasion to visit the Counseling Center is okay, being judgmental and pressuring a student to seek counseling will probably backfire. It is a good idea to follow-up with a student after referring them for counseling to find out if they kept the counseling appointment and how it went. This allows you to convey ongoing concern about the student, and provide support and/or information about additional resources.

Emergency or Urgent Referrals:   In cases where a student seems to be in crisis (too distraught to take care of self, violent or threatening behavior, suicidal or homicidal threats or gestures, severe isolation), then it is imperative that you act promptly. In these circumstances, your concern for the student’s safety and well-being must outweigh fears that (s)he may be upset with you for betraying his or her confidence. Call the Counseling Center directly (825-2703). Provide a description of the situation that led to your concern. Please provide direct quotes from the student whenever possible. You will be advised of the most appropriate actions to take so that assistance for the student can be coordinated most efficiently. After hours or during the weekend/vacation periods, contact the University Police at 825-4444. Do not hesitate to call 911 if an emergency situation is imminent or in progress.